Today's question from a reader was "What are your kinks?"
To differ this post slightly from the previous one, in which I believe I elaborated clearly what it is about being dominant and submissive that arouses me, I will attempt to list my major fetishes/ kinks and then awkwardly fumble through why they interest me.
Dollification.
Dollification is one of those semi-niche fetishes. I didn't learn about it until I had been involved in the erotic hypnosis scene for at least a year. (Erotic hypnosis is one of my big fetishes, Basically, it's about becoming or being a living doll. A lot of people are into being rubber dolls or china dolls or latex dolls- me, I'm a porcelain doll. I like the matte look, what can I say?
Dollification is different for everyone, obviously, but the reason I love it is because it takes a whole bunch of the activities and feelings I love in BDSM and combines them in one nifty package. Objectification- check. Bondage- check. Hypnosis- check. Dressing up and playing with makeup- check.
Honestly, the hours I spend laying on the bed, immobile, beautifully made up with my pussy being pounded like I'm simply a new toy from the store that's having a test run, are some of the most tranquil and erotic hours I've spent in a bed.
My thought processes (if I have any) are all on such a basic level. 'Mmm, cock. So good. Good doll. Need to be used. Owned by Master. Good cock, yes fuck doll.' is pretty much the level of coherence you'd find if you took a peek inside my head while I was being fucked in that context.
I like to be admired, to be played with, to be posed and touched and arranged and opened like a treasured thing. To be shared, useful, malleable. This is what being a doll means to me.
Roleplaying.
Roleplaying is both an old and a new love of mine. I have always roleplayed in the bedroom on occasion, but since meeting my current partner, it's become a major sexual focus for me. I love to create new scenarios, characters, weave a story together that takes me out of myself and places me into pure fantasy. We actually have a list of things we've done and things we want to try, it's that big a deal.
Roleplaying was how I came to have a fetish for something completely fictional. Be gentle with me, folks; even I don't understand how it works!
So... I have a fetish for Adeptus Astartes, which are fictional characters also known as Space Marines in the Warhammer 40k universe. Whew. That took quite a lot of effort to put down.
They're deliciously large, hulking brutes of men (that's a contested term, but we'll go with it for now) that wear armor and are very smart, perceptive and have muscles like tree trunks. Om nom nom nom.
Anyway, before I stray too much off topic, I'm trying to say that I like roleplaying. A lot. It gives us room to play as adults, to imagine possibilities and fulfil fantasies otherwise unreachable. It deepens our relationship by creating outlets for needs we might not have known we had before we put ourselves in the mindset of a completely different being. It's also really geeky. ^_^
Consensual Non Consent. (Caution- May trigger some people, skip to next bold title if so.)
Here's one that's been a constant through my entire sexual journey. The idea of consenting to not giving consent may be an odd one, but it works for me. Just knowing that within a certain context I can let go, give my power to someone else and be taken and used for their amusement... Incredibly arousing.
What's also arousing is being shoved to my knees to perform oral sex while I'm in the middle of doing a household task, regardless of whether or not I wanted to.
Being thrown onto the bed, or fingered in public, or fucked by someone that my partner has vetted and brought home to use me with. Having a hand squeezing around my throat, a palm slapping my face if I try to call for help... All of the consequences for not 'playing along' building in severity until I'm quivering from head to toe...
Being chased down and captured while I fight tooth and nail to keep my clothes on, knowing that he's bigger and stronger and faster than I am, so he's going to get his way anyway. Struggling until I'm sweaty and messy and tired and scratched up, tears streaming down my cheeks as I beg for mercy, but my pussy is leaking and he's grinding my face into the dirt while he thrusts so deep into me it hurts... And I realise that I'm cumming with every thrust of his cock.
The thrill of saying 'no' but meaning yes, of being forced to receive pleasure, to be full of someone, controlled by someone, in the most private and intimate way possible when and where they like, regardless of your mood or headache or errands... That, to me, is sexy.
Sadomasochism.
Pain is just a part of my psyche. At least, that's the conclusion I've come to after thinking about my relationship with pain. Now, I still adhere to the 'there's good pain, and there's bad pain' school of thought. I mean, having a broken leg isn't likely to have me moaning with pleasure.
Intentional pain, though... That's the key. Some part of my brain likes to take the feelings surrounding the pain- the surprise, the anticipation, the suffering, the vulnerability- and stream them into a sort of cathartic process that moves from release to arousal to orgasm. Inflicting pain on me is one of the quickest and easiest ways to get me into subspace, along with bondage and multiple forced orgasms.
On the flip side of the coin, I love to inflict pain. I love the look on the face of the recipient as they take yet another lash for you. I love the noises they make, squeals of fear or surprise, moans of arousal and semi-coherent babblings of obedience, pleas for mercy, occasional thank-yous.
I suppose the power dynamic of being the sadist in an S/m relationship fits with me in the same way as being dominant does (refer back to Day One.)
I can't really explain very well what it is that happens in my mind when I'm doing a scene with someone... It's like a switch gets flipped in my brain, and suddenly I realise that they're taking this pain for me and that I'm the one making their skin mark up like that, making them suffer so beautifully as their buttocks tremble and precious tears start to roll down their cheeks. With every hit of the crop, my pussy becomes wetter, swollen with lust. My heart swells with pride at how well they're taking it, so brave with every hit, so disciplined to stand there and allow me to do this to them.
My inner sadist rubs her hands together gleefully with every moan and wriggle, every drop of arousal dripping down thighs, because it's all part of the torture. Just suffer a little more for me, sweetling, and it will give you pleasure beyond anything you imagined possible. Honestly, it feels a little like making a deal with the devil.
So. There you have it. My main fetishes/ kinks. There are *many* others, some of which fall under these umbrellas, some of which don't. I'm still exploring, still finding things I like and dislike, and I expect that it will be some years still before I have an accurate picture of the extent and diversity of my fetishes.
To differ this post slightly from the previous one, in which I believe I elaborated clearly what it is about being dominant and submissive that arouses me, I will attempt to list my major fetishes/ kinks and then awkwardly fumble through why they interest me.
Dollification.
Dollification is one of those semi-niche fetishes. I didn't learn about it until I had been involved in the erotic hypnosis scene for at least a year. (Erotic hypnosis is one of my big fetishes, Basically, it's about becoming or being a living doll. A lot of people are into being rubber dolls or china dolls or latex dolls- me, I'm a porcelain doll. I like the matte look, what can I say?
Dollification is different for everyone, obviously, but the reason I love it is because it takes a whole bunch of the activities and feelings I love in BDSM and combines them in one nifty package. Objectification- check. Bondage- check. Hypnosis- check. Dressing up and playing with makeup- check.
Honestly, the hours I spend laying on the bed, immobile, beautifully made up with my pussy being pounded like I'm simply a new toy from the store that's having a test run, are some of the most tranquil and erotic hours I've spent in a bed.
My thought processes (if I have any) are all on such a basic level. 'Mmm, cock. So good. Good doll. Need to be used. Owned by Master. Good cock, yes fuck doll.' is pretty much the level of coherence you'd find if you took a peek inside my head while I was being fucked in that context.
I like to be admired, to be played with, to be posed and touched and arranged and opened like a treasured thing. To be shared, useful, malleable. This is what being a doll means to me.
Roleplaying.
Roleplaying is both an old and a new love of mine. I have always roleplayed in the bedroom on occasion, but since meeting my current partner, it's become a major sexual focus for me. I love to create new scenarios, characters, weave a story together that takes me out of myself and places me into pure fantasy. We actually have a list of things we've done and things we want to try, it's that big a deal.
Roleplaying was how I came to have a fetish for something completely fictional. Be gentle with me, folks; even I don't understand how it works!
So... I have a fetish for Adeptus Astartes, which are fictional characters also known as Space Marines in the Warhammer 40k universe. Whew. That took quite a lot of effort to put down.
They're deliciously large, hulking brutes of men (that's a contested term, but we'll go with it for now) that wear armor and are very smart, perceptive and have muscles like tree trunks. Om nom nom nom.
Anyway, before I stray too much off topic, I'm trying to say that I like roleplaying. A lot. It gives us room to play as adults, to imagine possibilities and fulfil fantasies otherwise unreachable. It deepens our relationship by creating outlets for needs we might not have known we had before we put ourselves in the mindset of a completely different being. It's also really geeky. ^_^
Consensual Non Consent. (Caution- May trigger some people, skip to next bold title if so.)
Here's one that's been a constant through my entire sexual journey. The idea of consenting to not giving consent may be an odd one, but it works for me. Just knowing that within a certain context I can let go, give my power to someone else and be taken and used for their amusement... Incredibly arousing.
What's also arousing is being shoved to my knees to perform oral sex while I'm in the middle of doing a household task, regardless of whether or not I wanted to.
Being thrown onto the bed, or fingered in public, or fucked by someone that my partner has vetted and brought home to use me with. Having a hand squeezing around my throat, a palm slapping my face if I try to call for help... All of the consequences for not 'playing along' building in severity until I'm quivering from head to toe...
Being chased down and captured while I fight tooth and nail to keep my clothes on, knowing that he's bigger and stronger and faster than I am, so he's going to get his way anyway. Struggling until I'm sweaty and messy and tired and scratched up, tears streaming down my cheeks as I beg for mercy, but my pussy is leaking and he's grinding my face into the dirt while he thrusts so deep into me it hurts... And I realise that I'm cumming with every thrust of his cock.
The thrill of saying 'no' but meaning yes, of being forced to receive pleasure, to be full of someone, controlled by someone, in the most private and intimate way possible when and where they like, regardless of your mood or headache or errands... That, to me, is sexy.
Sadomasochism.
Pain is just a part of my psyche. At least, that's the conclusion I've come to after thinking about my relationship with pain. Now, I still adhere to the 'there's good pain, and there's bad pain' school of thought. I mean, having a broken leg isn't likely to have me moaning with pleasure.
Intentional pain, though... That's the key. Some part of my brain likes to take the feelings surrounding the pain- the surprise, the anticipation, the suffering, the vulnerability- and stream them into a sort of cathartic process that moves from release to arousal to orgasm. Inflicting pain on me is one of the quickest and easiest ways to get me into subspace, along with bondage and multiple forced orgasms.
On the flip side of the coin, I love to inflict pain. I love the look on the face of the recipient as they take yet another lash for you. I love the noises they make, squeals of fear or surprise, moans of arousal and semi-coherent babblings of obedience, pleas for mercy, occasional thank-yous.
I suppose the power dynamic of being the sadist in an S/m relationship fits with me in the same way as being dominant does (refer back to Day One.)
I can't really explain very well what it is that happens in my mind when I'm doing a scene with someone... It's like a switch gets flipped in my brain, and suddenly I realise that they're taking this pain for me and that I'm the one making their skin mark up like that, making them suffer so beautifully as their buttocks tremble and precious tears start to roll down their cheeks. With every hit of the crop, my pussy becomes wetter, swollen with lust. My heart swells with pride at how well they're taking it, so brave with every hit, so disciplined to stand there and allow me to do this to them.
My inner sadist rubs her hands together gleefully with every moan and wriggle, every drop of arousal dripping down thighs, because it's all part of the torture. Just suffer a little more for me, sweetling, and it will give you pleasure beyond anything you imagined possible. Honestly, it feels a little like making a deal with the devil.
So. There you have it. My main fetishes/ kinks. There are *many* others, some of which fall under these umbrellas, some of which don't. I'm still exploring, still finding things I like and dislike, and I expect that it will be some years still before I have an accurate picture of the extent and diversity of my fetishes.
Wow. Your eloquence as a writer has not diminished in the slightest since we last spoke.
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