Well. It seems there's a new trend- Thirty days of... Everything. This particular version caught my eye, as kink is near and dear to my cold blooded dinosaur heart.
I will attempt to find the discipline to answer these questions as thoughtfully and honestly as possible- for your entertainment, of course.
So, Day One. "YOU…
Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature."
Ha! Isn't that a question? Well, firstly I'd have to say that I have so many labels that I probably look like a pilot's cabin baggage.
I'll try and single them out, look at each one a little more in depth. Basically- I'm a switch.
Dominant: Yes, I am. When and where and with whom I feel like, which seems to me an entirely dominant approach to take :P
It's a little complicated for me, though. I struggled a lot when I was younger, realising that I had dominant moments but not knowing what to do with them. There are a lot of stereotypes and unhealthy, judgemental attitudes about how dominants should be and act out there. I battled with all of them, because I was
- a female
- very young
- also submissive/ a masochist
- happy to be called a switch (which in some people's opinion is just being inconveniently indecisive!)
- wasn't automatically dominant with people that were obviously angling to be submissive to me.
See, the thing is, I'm pretty secure in my insecurity now. I don't need to prove that I'm dominant to anyone. Not even my submissive/s. I mean, they're making me dominant by default in their playing of the power exchange! If they didn't think I was their kind of domme, they wouldn't submit to me.
It's still a challenge sometimes, though. There are all sorts of feelings around 'Should I have a more even balance of dominant/ submissive feelings?' and 'Why does it seem so rare that I feel that dominant connection with someone?'. The one question that really drives me crazy is why does that dominant connection happen? What special quality is it that snaps on the Mistress in me? I've been trying to observe the people it happens with- seeing if there are any common factors, or anything they do or don't do that other submissives might.
I'm still searching for that answer, but honestly I think it's kind of fun not to know sometimes. I mean, it certainly makes the connection spontaneous!
What it is about being dominant that gets my juices flowing? There's an easy question to answer!
It's about the trust that is handed to you by a person that's trusting you with their wellbeing, their emotional safety, their body and their private fantasies.
It's about the power, and the delicious satisfaction of knowing that you have complete control of another person. It's the look in their eyes that says 'thank you for helping me fill my needs', and the discipline of their mind as they take the pain, the challenge, the instruction for you even though it might be difficult or they may not want to.
For me, dominance is about showing people that they are cared about, connected to and loved in a completely different way. When I hit you, I mean 'thank you for trusting me.'
When I slap your face and tell you that you're an eager little slut, what I'm really saying is 'You're beautiful, and I'm so attracted to you and I love that you're so aroused for me.'
When I ask something of you and you tremble and bite your lip but you do it anyway, I feel cherished and adored because I see the preciousness of your obedience.
When I hypnotise you and make you orgasm without laying a single finger on you, your body is telling me that I'm all you're focussed on in that moment in time.
And, at the end of our scene, or our play, or our day, when I'm holding you and stroking your hair and you're covered in welts, bruises, sweat, cum, oil and you're glowing and exhausted and have let go of everything except belonging to me... I think about how much I care for you, and how guiding you to release your emotions, your frustrations like that is so freeing for both of us.
Submissive- Another label I indetify with. I have known that I was submissive since early on in my sexual explorations. The exquisite ability to just melt into someone elses' control is an indescribable joy for me.
I'm going to cut/paste shamelessly from another piece of writing I have on a profile of mine in the dirty reaches of the internet:
"I love to be degraded and used as a slut to fuck, a hole to fill, an object for someone elses' satisfaction.
I love to be taken from being pristine, kempt, poised and eloquent to ravaged, sweaty, messy and moaning incoherently.
I love that feeling of mindless worship that snakes into my brain and focusses me on just being a perfect channel for the dominant energy of my partner.
I love to be made to expose myself, to show off my body, my arousal, my insecurities.
I love to be dominated by intelligent men and women- people that understand that I am a complex human being with thoughts and feelings and opinions... And that none of that matters for even a second because, ultimately, when I'm kneeling at their feet with my eyes downcast and my pussy/ass/throat exposed to them I'm just there to be used, my intelligence being overcome and subsumed by their wilful desire.
Most of all, I love it when what I need and want and love aren't a consideration. (Within the bounds of prior agreement, just to clarify.)"
I love the juxtaposition, I think- such an intelligent and in control woman to an objectified controlled plaything.
I feel that this set of questions is slightly narrow in it's definitions, as I also identify as a sadomasochist, a doll (which I see as less of a submissive and more of a possession or object,) and a little- all of which I see as being 'kinky' identities that don't fit under the Dom/sub/switch umbrella.
So, that's Day One. I hope that you enjoyed the insight, please feel free to comment or question as you wish.
Awkward Dinosaur out! *chuurk*
I will attempt to find the discipline to answer these questions as thoughtfully and honestly as possible- for your entertainment, of course.
So, Day One. "YOU…
Dominant, submissive or switch? List the parts of BDSM that get your juices flowing, what interests you the most? Basically define your kinky nature."
Ha! Isn't that a question? Well, firstly I'd have to say that I have so many labels that I probably look like a pilot's cabin baggage.
I'll try and single them out, look at each one a little more in depth. Basically- I'm a switch.
Dominant: Yes, I am. When and where and with whom I feel like, which seems to me an entirely dominant approach to take :P
It's a little complicated for me, though. I struggled a lot when I was younger, realising that I had dominant moments but not knowing what to do with them. There are a lot of stereotypes and unhealthy, judgemental attitudes about how dominants should be and act out there. I battled with all of them, because I was
- a female
- very young
- also submissive/ a masochist
- happy to be called a switch (which in some people's opinion is just being inconveniently indecisive!)
- wasn't automatically dominant with people that were obviously angling to be submissive to me.
See, the thing is, I'm pretty secure in my insecurity now. I don't need to prove that I'm dominant to anyone. Not even my submissive/s. I mean, they're making me dominant by default in their playing of the power exchange! If they didn't think I was their kind of domme, they wouldn't submit to me.
It's still a challenge sometimes, though. There are all sorts of feelings around 'Should I have a more even balance of dominant/ submissive feelings?' and 'Why does it seem so rare that I feel that dominant connection with someone?'. The one question that really drives me crazy is why does that dominant connection happen? What special quality is it that snaps on the Mistress in me? I've been trying to observe the people it happens with- seeing if there are any common factors, or anything they do or don't do that other submissives might.
I'm still searching for that answer, but honestly I think it's kind of fun not to know sometimes. I mean, it certainly makes the connection spontaneous!
What it is about being dominant that gets my juices flowing? There's an easy question to answer!
It's about the trust that is handed to you by a person that's trusting you with their wellbeing, their emotional safety, their body and their private fantasies.
It's about the power, and the delicious satisfaction of knowing that you have complete control of another person. It's the look in their eyes that says 'thank you for helping me fill my needs', and the discipline of their mind as they take the pain, the challenge, the instruction for you even though it might be difficult or they may not want to.
For me, dominance is about showing people that they are cared about, connected to and loved in a completely different way. When I hit you, I mean 'thank you for trusting me.'
When I slap your face and tell you that you're an eager little slut, what I'm really saying is 'You're beautiful, and I'm so attracted to you and I love that you're so aroused for me.'
When I ask something of you and you tremble and bite your lip but you do it anyway, I feel cherished and adored because I see the preciousness of your obedience.
When I hypnotise you and make you orgasm without laying a single finger on you, your body is telling me that I'm all you're focussed on in that moment in time.
And, at the end of our scene, or our play, or our day, when I'm holding you and stroking your hair and you're covered in welts, bruises, sweat, cum, oil and you're glowing and exhausted and have let go of everything except belonging to me... I think about how much I care for you, and how guiding you to release your emotions, your frustrations like that is so freeing for both of us.
Submissive- Another label I indetify with. I have known that I was submissive since early on in my sexual explorations. The exquisite ability to just melt into someone elses' control is an indescribable joy for me.
I'm going to cut/paste shamelessly from another piece of writing I have on a profile of mine in the dirty reaches of the internet:
"I love to be degraded and used as a slut to fuck, a hole to fill, an object for someone elses' satisfaction.
I love to be taken from being pristine, kempt, poised and eloquent to ravaged, sweaty, messy and moaning incoherently.
I love that feeling of mindless worship that snakes into my brain and focusses me on just being a perfect channel for the dominant energy of my partner.
I love to be made to expose myself, to show off my body, my arousal, my insecurities.
I love to be dominated by intelligent men and women- people that understand that I am a complex human being with thoughts and feelings and opinions... And that none of that matters for even a second because, ultimately, when I'm kneeling at their feet with my eyes downcast and my pussy/ass/throat exposed to them I'm just there to be used, my intelligence being overcome and subsumed by their wilful desire.
Most of all, I love it when what I need and want and love aren't a consideration. (Within the bounds of prior agreement, just to clarify.)"
I love the juxtaposition, I think- such an intelligent and in control woman to an objectified controlled plaything.
I feel that this set of questions is slightly narrow in it's definitions, as I also identify as a sadomasochist, a doll (which I see as less of a submissive and more of a possession or object,) and a little- all of which I see as being 'kinky' identities that don't fit under the Dom/sub/switch umbrella.
So, that's Day One. I hope that you enjoyed the insight, please feel free to comment or question as you wish.
Awkward Dinosaur out! *chuurk*
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