Do these genes make my butt look fat?

The answer is probably yes. The more interesting question is: do I sit on my fat butt and worry about it, or do I leap onto the treadmill for some vigorous butt-busting exercise?
Okay, so that wasn't as interesting a question as it sounded in my head. Here's something that's related though- buried deep in my genetic make-up are two little blips of DNA that decide for me which of the above options I should take naturally. Cool, huh?

It has recently come to my attention that there is a lot that Science (yes, it needs a capital, so it can continue to be pretentious and authoritative. Also, I happen to like the shape of a capital 'S',) is learning about the human condition. Perhaps you already knew about this, but for those of you that don't...
One of the more fascinating of these that I've come across lately is the Worrier/ Warrior genes or as Science names it, the 'catechol-O-methyltransferase (COMT) gene, which has a common variant at codon 158' of either 'valine (Val158) alleles' or 'methionine (Met158) substitution.'

So, to break the effects of these down a bit- you know that person that always seems to be fretting about whether or not they turned the lights off when they go out to the pub, or the people that prefer to stay inside away from anything remotely dangerous and read a book instead?
They're Worriers. Either one or both of their COMTs are methionine variants.

Now, the people who are all up-and-at-'em, on the rollercoasters, doing martial arts, taking risky financial moves and throwing a left hook at the guy who just spilt salsa on them?
They're Warriors. Either one or both of their genes are valine alleles. (Look here for allele clarification.)

Now, it is possible for a person to have either two Worrier genes, two Warrior genes, or one of each. These genes determine aspects of our personality and how we deal with certain situations. It has been shown that people that possess strong Warrior genes deal well with processing 'aversive stimuli' such as pain, while people that possess strong Worrier genes have a slight advantage in memory and attention tasks.

There are other differences too! Let's take a look at the Warrior and Worrier in detail.

The Warrior:

The good news is, Warriors seem to be able to cope with stress more easily! Their brains fill naturally and easily with dopamine when triggered by a stressor, which enables them to function much better (than Worriers) in stressful situations. If there's a cave lion attacking you, you'll likely win.
The bad news is, there's some strong evidence to suggest that Warrior genes make it more likely for the person carrying them to develop Schizophrenia.
There are also, apparently, external factors which influence the development of these genes. If, for example, you get high on the green leaf when you're a Warrior adolescent, you're much more likely to develop psychotic symptoms in later life. Crazy.
So basically, you get to be a cool superman that can take pain and not stress about shit but you'll go mental in later life. Bonus.

The Worrier:

The Worrier genes mean that there is a near constant chemical response in the body to stress. Dopamine fills the brain on such a regular basis and the adrenal glands are tired out so frequently that when a truly stressful situation does occur, the Worrier is much less efficient (than the Warrior) at coping with it.
Worrier genes have been linked to evidence that suggests anxiety disorders are much more common in people that carry this gene.
Worriers are likely to be pansies in the face of pain- it is shown that there is actual physical evidence that these people feel more pain than Warriors.
It is thought (based on actual research in Science) that Met alleles developed fairly recently (which, by the way, in Science language could mean hundreds of years ago) and 'may be particularly useful in complex environments where maximal performance is required on tasks of memory and attention.'
So, you get to be smart and attentive and, dare I say it, likely to be more intelligent but you're likely to have a mental breakdown later in life from all that stress.

Of course, if you have both, you could end up being a crazy legend like Ozzy Osbourne, who reportedly has one of each kind of gene. This might explain his recklessly bold career moves and his sense of insecurity and anxiety that has persisted throughout his life.
The best thing, though, is that neither gene is 'better' than the other. As far as Important Science is concerned, they've both made it through the evolutionary blender and persist to this day. We obviously need people that have different skills, different chemistry and different personalities for the human race to not only function, but to improve and develop.

If you'd like more information, or to re-read what I just explained to you but in confusing and Scientific terms, try here and here and for an entertaining piece about Warrior aggression, click here.

*Please note* That I am not a doctor, a scientist or an otherwise certified Ass that has any right to claim any of the above ideas as my own work. This post was written as a slightly informative, casual take on a piece of new and interesting information I had come across and decided to write about at 3 o'clock in the morning.